Mother May I?

I'll just go ahead and skip over all the messy pregnancy stuff. No one really wants to hear about all the trips to the bathroom, the trash can beside the bed filled with unmentionables, the swollen ankles,the bouts of crying,the craving for honey mustard on everything and I do mean EVERYTHING,and other really crazy pregnant stuff.

Lets shoot forward to August 15,2008. I was awakened several times the night before with terrible pains. Now given this is my third pregnancy I should know whats going on but give me a break last time I was pregnant was 1998. Around 6 A.M. I got out of bed only to find it very shall we say covered and leave it at that. I call my "baby mama" (whole nother blog) and ask her what I should do like I said its been 10 years work with me. She offers to come over for the I don't know 10th time since finding out I was pregnant and thinking I was in labor. We walk for a while with her repeatedly asking if I wanted to go to the hospital. After an hour of making her get lots of unwanted exercise I'm ready to go. We call my mom on the way and tell her not to come up yet because were not sure. See in reality I really didn't want her there, again a whole nother blog. I'm hooked up to the monitor for 5 minutes when they call up to say my mother was here. Yay?? My contractions are coming about 10 minutes apart. The nurse tells me that more than likely my doctor will send me home. Apparently my doctor is known for this and has a plane to catch to Bermuda. Yay?? I prepare Rene to get ready to help my big behind up when the nurse comes in surprised to hear my doctor had ordered her to induce labor to speed up the contractions. Wait I'm not ready I like the first plan of sending me home yea yea lets go back to that plan.

Things aren't going to badly at first. Keep in mind in my world nothing runs smoothly. My mother asked me if I had a jacket because she was cold. A jacket,its the middle of August why on earth would I have a jacket. As I lay on the bed drenched in sweat my mother informs the nurse she needs to turn the air down because she is cold. The nurse in turn informs my mother that she is welcome to step out and warm up. (secret grin) My mother than informs me that she is hungry and didn't bring her purse up. In between a horrific contraction I ask Rene to please take my debit card and feed her. With our secret eye communication codes I ask her to leave her in the cafeteria. I'm later told by Rene that she told my mother to eat at the cafeteria because the smell of the food would make me nauseous,to which my mother replied lets go upstairs and eat just to be smart. As you can see my mother clearly cares about me. Once upstairs eating her very heavily covered in salt fries and tuna sandwich she informs me she doesn't like whats on tv. *sigh* In all the movies I watch its always the woman in labor being a whiny complaining you know what how did I get fortunate enough to have the whiny complaing you know what at my bedside??Thru my very loud contractions she informs me she cant hear the tv and I'm being ridiculous.*sigh*I'll try to be in labor a little more quietly.Finally I cant take the pain anymore and give into the good ole epidural. This will be my first.I see the long needle and cringe on top of my mother saying suck it up although not quite in those words. They ask that everyone step out while they do the procedure. Thank you. Can you come up with some excuse to make the older one stay out?? So this went on until a little after 6 P.M. The labor was great after the epidural. Really wish I had some to take home for the visits I was going to receive from my mother. After Peyton came out my mother insisted upon holding her first to which the nurse kindly explained that her mother would be holding her first. Ah yes by now you know her name is Peyton a name in which my mother was totally against and actually didn't speak to me for a month when I told her the name I had picked because she insisted I name her Lori Ann. WHAT??? Oh that month was so pleasant.

I had attempted and failed at breast feeding twice. Since I was alone with this baby I decided I would go full force into it. I probably don't need to tell you this was against my mothers wishes. A huge reason I failed twice before. The nurse was extremely nice and patiently attempted to help me nurse while my mother glared at me. Needless to say I didn't do very well that first night. While rolling me to my room in which my mother insisted upon walking with them she informed everyone that my daughter was hungry and I needed to giver her a bottle. God please make her leave. I made it to the room. Yes I was ready to jump off the bed and run with Peyton to Mexico. After an hour of my mother telling me to get her a bottle I finally was able to get her to leave by saying it was really late and I read recently that there were a high number of muggings in the hospital parking lot. Is that bad? I just wanted peace.